Situation When You had to be Nice to Someone You Dislike Cue Card

Why you do not like him/her?

I have a close member in my family who, while being considerably older, has a nasty temper and bad manners. In essence, he is one of my mother's many brothers, and as a result, he and we have a close bond. But I'm expected to never challenge him about his rudeness and always be kind to him because I'm the youngest member of the family. He is known for making false accusations against family members and victimising himself, which is a certain way to stir up conflict within the family.

What happened?

He is quite similar to the villainous characters you will often see in movies and TV shows, where whenever the character comes up, you can always expect trouble. He often tries to create confusion among the people surrounding him and finds great delight in doing so. Most of the family members in my vicinity have become aware of his notorious attitude and behavior.

Why you still had to be nice to him/her?

Although they try to stay on his good side as much as possible and avoid trouble at any cost, it seems like he has made it his motive in life to irritate other people and test their patience. There have been multiple occasions where we were forced to end a family occasion abruptly just because of the chaos and confusion that he had brought up.

Why you do not like him/her?

Although most family members have now become wary of this habit of bringing up false accusations against people, earlier we used to believe him.This had also resulted in a number of instances where people believed these charges and took action against the individual who was wrongfully blamed. Rebuking and criticizing the accused person was a rather small punishment since some of these other punishments were rather stern.

What happened?

In one particular instance, this uncle had falsely accused me and reported to my parents. He claimed that I had broken an expensive vase in his room when he had invited some guests over for an occasion. Fortunately, though, I was able to prove my Innocence to everyone. I immediately refused to take the blame for the act and said that I had been staying at their house for a few months now, and not on any occasion had I entered that specific room, where that flower vase was displayed. And not only that, but on the evening when this particular incident occurred, I was not even present in the house since I had to leave to attend an academic seminar.

Why you still had to be nice to him/her?

Just as I proved my innocence, the uncle was quick to change the tone of his voice and accepted that it was wrong of him to not investigate the matter first before blaming me. He apologized to me but immediately after started to blame someone else for the matter. Never did he accept that he himself was the one who broke the vase. Soon after, most of the family members saw his true colors and turned their backs against him. I have to admit that despite his behavior, I have always remained civil to him since he was an adult.

Why you do not like him/her?

It becomes indeed a matter if you have an ill-natured family member, who lives close by and always comes up for a family gathering, just to cause more trouble. I believe that the first step that you need to take while dealing with such a family member is to take a deep breath and come to the realization that it is a part of life and we have to bear it. However, there are a few things that I do to make the situation better - if there is a family gathering coming up where I know that I will have to come across him, I try not to think too much about it since that only contributes to increasing my anxiety beforehand.

What happened?

If I have my nerves jangling all over the place, I will only overreact and get all the more irritated by his behavior, and say something that I will regret afterward. I try to remain civil around him as much as possible and practice common courtesy, no matter what the situation is that I am dealing with. I try to treat him politely and with the respect that an elder member deserves as a baseline of civility, even when I disagree with his actions.

Why you still had to be nice to him/her?

I try to stay at my best manners and focus on handling the situation with integrity and grace. I try to avoid personal attacks as much as possible and act with a certain level of decency. Dealing with my uncle can be quite similar to walking on eggshells, so I try to always avoid certain topics while having conversations that I know are definitely going to ignite disagreements. I try to think as carefully as possible and place my words in a certain cautious way. I try to avoid topics such as politics and personal life choices since I know that his views and opinions are only going to clash with mine.